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How do you forgive?

You can ask Holy Spirit for help.

If you struggle with being willing to forgive, you could try to see the person or the situation differently. Walk in their shoes for a while. Try to understand why they did what they did. Think of all the good times and the good things they have done for you.

You could try the forgiveness circle. With this practice you walk half the circle speaking your anger about what’s been done to you; you walk the last half speaking your forgiveness of the person and blessing them. And then you think of the offence no more.

Steps to forgiving can include:

1. Acknowledge you have been hurt.
2. With God’s help, if necessary, make a conscious decision to forgive.
3. Know that in some cases it may take months or years to complete the process.
4. Forgive them and bless them. If you can bless them, and pray for them, you know you have forgiven from your heart.
5. In some cases, you may want to let the other person know they have been forgiven.

So, we know that forgiving may be a continuous process, it is not condoning an offence, it is not pardoning an offence, and it may not be easy! Yet unforgiveness can hurt us psychologically and physically and can damage relationships. When we fail to forgive, we place a barrier between ourselves and God through which his love and mercy cannot flow. Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors is asking God to forgive us as we forgive others.

There may be someone who needs to hear you and me say “I forgive you” not with our mouths but with our hearts.

I wonder if you would bow your head and allow the Holy Spirit to bring to mind what if anything is needed.